Les Tucker – Nympho Librarian (1970)

Review by Justin Tate

Oh no! Zeta, the AC/DC librarian, isn’t just strict on overdue books. She’s an archivist who does close-up photography of every ding dong and ho ho she encounters — and that’s a lot. She might need the whole Library of Congress to house her naughty special collection.

Nympho Librarian is the vintage novel with viral cover art and a holy grail title among paperback collectors. For obvious reasons, it’s intrigued a lot of readers who want to support their local library—in more ways than one.

Unfortunately the book is very out-of-print and nearly impossible to find. Most people probably assume the cover is a fake Photoshop job. Well, it is a real book and I traced down a copy. Naturally, I got right to reading, eager to find out if the story would be as exquisite as the cover by Parisian-trained (but Toledo-based) painter Isaac Paul Rader (1906-1986).

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Anonymous – I Was A Good Girl ‘Til The Twist Drove Me Sin-Crazy (1962)

Review by Justin Tate

It’s hard to imagine a more amusing time capsule than the September 1962 issue of Romantic Confessions. This was the magazine’s debut issue. What they printed was hardly new, however. Modern girls faced moral crises on every page, just like they did in comparable magazines: Romance Confessions, Confidential Confessions, True Confessions, True Romantic Confessions, Secret Confessions, Secret True Confessions, Thrilling Confessions, Modern Confessions, My Confession and, simply, Confessions—among dozens more.

“Confession stories” always seemed to be set in Anytown, USA, with girls characterized in generic, relatable ways. Readers easily imagined themselves in the heroine’s shoes, facing the same titillating dilemmas. This was an era when appetites for taboo were ravenous, yet society remained hush-hush about personal experiences which could tarnish one’s reputation. These magazines dared to spotlight all that was forbidden to discuss in public.

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John Dexter – Swap Safari (1970)

Review by Justin Tate

Despite egregious false advertising and plenty of awkward sex scenes, Swap Safari ends up being a decent tale of erotic espionage.

Scott Newton is a government agent with international assignments of the deadliest nature. As he describes himself, “I’m a guy who hangs around unlikely corners of the world clearing up messes.” Currently he fronts as a vacation coordinator for luxury resorts in Nairobi. Secretly he works for the CIA—or maybe FBI? This is never explained clearly—and awaits the arrival of wealthy American swap couples.

After meeting Scott, the ladies admire his impressive physique and urge him to be included in their name-drawing ceremony. This is where they decide which man is paired with which woman for the day. They don’t have to twist his arm. After all, his work requires him to get close with these people. How much closer can you get?

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Burton Dickson – Snowjob (1970)

Review by Justin Tate

In honor of Netflix’s Hot Frosty, I dug deep into the archives to discover this 1970 paperback of frozen titillations. It’s not a tale of snow sculpture brought alive by Christmas magic. But, if you’re someone who wished Hot Frosty had gay orgies along with those Hallmark feel-good vibes, look no further than Burton Dickson’s novel Snowjob.

There is a snowman here too, of sorts. During a treacherous blizzard near a ski resort, Barry stumbles upon a naked ass buried in snow. Thinking it an attractive woman’s ass, he eagerly jumps into a rescue effort — and discovers he’s actually saving a man. A man with a stiff, frozen dick. Barry carries the unconscious, nude man to his cabin where he learns the poor fellow was caught drunk and naked in an avalanche. No doubt he would’ve been dead in a few hours.

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Frederick Colson – The Devil is Gay (1965)

Review by Justin Tate

Happy Pride 2024. You know, not long ago in the early days of post-Obergefell v. Hodges, I believed Pride would become obsolete. Soon enough, I thought, we’d just be living our ordinary, twice-married, twice-divorced lives like everybody else. Nobody would care. It would be glorious.

Clearly I’m no prophet! Conservative fury over queer happiness is as vicious as ever and in a world where Roe v. Wade can be overturned, no freedom is safe. Every time I hear someone call a trans person mentally ill, which is every day online and by officials in high offices, I’m reminded that being LGBT+ was once reason enough to be institutionalized.

Gay pulp fiction from the 1960s and ’70s often tackled such dark topics. Being disowned by your family, blackmailed, fired from work, expelled from school, bullied to death, near-death or suicide, internalized homophobia, religious crisis, and extreme poverty due to any of the above circumstances. These were the matters of everyday queer life also portrayed in fiction. For some, particularly those in rural areas, the Sexual Revolution made things even more depressing. Progress was happening—you could see it!—but happiness remained just out of reach. Like dying of thirst in the desert with an oasis seen in the distance.

Now, nearly sixty years since The Devil is Gay was published, perhaps the most painful thing about the novel is that it remains exceedingly relevant. That’s a testament to our unfortunate current affairs, but also to Colson’s mastery of storytelling. What great art isn’t painful?

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Billy Farout – Man, It Must Be Heaven (1972)

Review by Justin Tate

Gay afterlife meets John Lennon utopia in this fantastical pulp novel. Murder, vengeful ghosts and tongue-in-cheek religious commentary are thrown in for good measure. As a literary artifact it offers a delightfully campy lens into the fantasies and fears of queer existence during the early 1970s.

The novel opens with Reggie Poppov waking up in the “Gay Wing of Purgatory.” He’s disoriented and wearing a big poofy wedding dress. Leaning over him is a “half nude angel” whose rippling physique makes him “more handsome” than Michelangelo’s David. The angel asks what happened to him. Reggie gradually recalls that he had dressed in wedding drag so he could legally marry his boyfriend, Bob. While posing for pictures on the Golden Gate Bridge, however, Bob pushed him over the edge so he could inherit Reggie’s family fortune.

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Ed Kroch – Bring in the Clowns (1990)

Review by Justin Tate

There’s a lot of ball juggling in this book, if you catch my drift. The “plot” consists almost entirely of bedroom acrobatics. Fleeting moments of macabre clown imagery jazz up the D-grade erotica, however, and make the book deserving of its collector’s item status.

The opening image is of car headlights strobing red, green and blue as they pass the stained-glass window of a Victorian mansion. Mark, a clown accountant, set up a compound in the mansion for his wildly successful troupe, Bring in the Clowns. There’s a special synergy among the clowns as evidenced by their regular bookings at birthday parties and other adult events. Limitless dedication to gratifying customers further contributes to a growing number of rave reviews. Who knew, with the right services, so much money could be made in the clown business?

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R.L. Stine – Goosebumps Haunted Library (1996)

Review by Justin Tate

Remember 1996? Let me help. “Macarena” is Billboard’s #1 song the past fourteen weeks, Space Jam is box office gold and Nanook, the Siberian husky Beanie Baby, is born. Meanwhile, Goosebumps is everywhere. The TV series is in its second season and the books are only halfway through an eventual 62-title run. If you’re reading each book as it comes out, you just finished The Abominable Snowman of Pasadena and are eagerly awaiting How I Got My Shrunken Head. You are unaware, of course, that future classics like Attack of the Jack-O’-Lanterns and Calling All Creeps are already in the pipeline.

One day your mom buys a specially marked bag of Doritos. You find inside a teeny tiny Goosebumps book, individually wrapped so it doesn’t get covered in orange dust. You read the short story, love it, and discover that TWO more teeny stories can be obtained if you submit enough UPC codes. To sweeten the deal, the promotion includes a cardboard “library” for “shelving” your books.

Ring any bells?

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William J. Lambert, III – Adonis Trilogy (1969-1970)

Review by Justin Tate

It doesn’t get any more 1969 than Adonis. This novel is as trippy as an extended foot and more surreal than Salvador Dali’s wet dreams. Though billed as “adult only” gay entertainment, much of the sex oozes with a slime of horror and supernatural mystery. You don’t know whether to be repulsed, turned on or terrified. Perhaps it’s the combination of all three which make it so unique.

Back in the day Adonis was popular enough to warrant two sequels. Today it’s an extremely rare find that might cost three figures for a tattered used copy.

California Scene, one of the more literary-minded gay presses, reviewed the novel in their May 1971 issue. They described it as “quite an exciting detective story” and praised Lambert’s “great skill in handling” a “number of good ideas.” In the same breath, however, there was concern that the “extremely involved” plot was peopled with “too many characters” and consequently difficult to follow.

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Julian Francis – Bunny Bitch (1969)

Review by Justin Tate

This 1969 gay pulp novel got labeled as “Adult Only” entertainment when it was published, but it’s much more about true love than naughty exploits.

Steve Saville is the “head of computer division” for a big corporation. He’s 34, lonely, socially awkward, self-conscious, and carries baggage from painful past relationships. Thinking that he’s not meant for happiness, he is just confident enough to dance with attractive Ben “Bunny” Farrow at a party only because he’s rumored to be a hustler.

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