Les Tucker – Nympho Librarian (1970)

January 18, 2025 Justin Tate

Oh no! Zeta, the AC/DC librarian, isn’t just strict on overdue books. She’s an archivist who does close-up photography of every ding dong and ho ho she encounters — and that’s a lot. She might need the whole Library of Congress to house her naughty special collection.

Nympho Librarian is the vintage novel with viral cover art and a holy grail title among paperback collectors. For obvious reasons, it’s intrigued a lot of readers who want to support their local library—in more ways than one.

Unfortunately the book is very out-of-print and nearly impossible to find. Most people probably assume the cover is a fake Photoshop job. Well, it is a real book and I traced down a copy. Naturally, I got right to reading, eager to find out if the story would be as exquisite as the cover by Parisian-trained (but Toledo-based) painter Isaac Paul Rader (1906-1986).

Anonymous – I Was A Good Girl ‘Til The Twist Drove Me Sin-Crazy (1962)

January 12, 2025January 12, 2025 Justin Tate

It’s hard to imagine a more amusing time capsule than the September 1962 issue of Romantic Confessions. This was the magazine’s debut issue. What they printed was hardly new, however. Modern girls faced moral crises on every page, just like they did in comparable magazines: Romance Confessions, Confidential Confessions, True Confessions, True Romantic Confessions, Secret Confessions, Secret True Confessions, Thrilling Confessions, Modern Confessions, My Confession and, simply, Confessions—among dozens more.

“Confession stories” always seemed to be set in Anytown, USA, with girls characterized in generic, relatable ways. Readers easily imagined themselves in the heroine’s shoes, facing the same titillating dilemmas. This was an era when appetites for taboo were ravenous, yet society remained hush-hush about personal experiences which could tarnish one’s reputation. These magazines dared to spotlight all that was forbidden to discuss in public.

Maria Edgeworth – Castle Rackrent (1800)

January 7, 2025 Justin Tate

There’s a curious reference to Castle Rackrent in The Great Gatsby. Nick invites his cousin Daisy over for tea, instructing her not to bring her husband. The plan is to privately re-introduce her to Gatsby. When Daisy greets Nick, she says “Are you in love with me?…or why did I have to come alone?” to which Nick responds, “That’s the secret of Castle Rackrent.”

It seems Fitzgerald assumed his 1920s audience would be familiar with Maria Edgeworth’s novel, originally published over a century earlier in 1800. Daisy, at least, doesn’t seem confused. Then again, perhaps the allusion means to be unusual, inspiring readers to pick up the old classic to find out for themselves. That’s what happened to me.

Amanda Ackerman – The Book of Feral Flora (2015)

January 5, 2025January 10, 2025 Justin Tate

Unhinged and cray-cray as hell. Imagine a plant with active consciousness. Then that plant goes insane and writes a book. That’s what The Book of Feral Flora feels like—and I kinda love it. Four stars for the audacity and giving me something wild to talk about at dinner parties. Another star because, why the fuck not? Where else would I find such delicious plant-based madness?

Okay—how to begin? Let’s start with genre. There isn’t one. If you’re going to read this, you must forget everything you know about reading. Free your mind of precedent, of what a book is supposed to do and not supposed to do. All rules will be broken anyway, so stop thinking about rules.

John Dexter – Swap Safari (1970)

January 5, 2025January 5, 2025 Justin Tate

Despite egregious false advertising and plenty of awkward sex scenes, Swap Safari ends up being a decent tale of erotic espionage.

Scott Newton is a government agent with international assignments of the deadliest nature. As he describes himself, “I’m a guy who hangs around unlikely corners of the world clearing up messes.” Currently he fronts as a vacation coordinator for luxury resorts in Nairobi. Secretly he works for the CIA—or maybe FBI? This is never explained clearly—and awaits the arrival of wealthy American swap couples.

After meeting Scott, the ladies admire his impressive physique and urge him to be included in their name-drawing ceremony. This is where they decide which man is paired with which woman for the day. They don’t have to twist his arm. After all, his work requires him to get close with these people. How much closer can you get?

Dorothy Dow – Dark Glory: A Story of Edgar Allan Poe (1931)

January 1, 2025 Justin Tate

The fourth biography of Edgar Allan Poe I’ve read. By far the most unique and, consequently, one of the best. It helps that the author is not a stuffy historian or literary professor, but Dorothy Dow. She would go on to become a highly prolific author of love stories. We’re talking like a dozen short stories published per month, blanketing every pulp romance magazine in print. Of the few I’ve read, they’re good too.

Dow’s approach to Poe’s life is personal. She gets the facts down, but dwells more on the journey of his tragic life than a dissection of his literary accomplishments. “The Tell-Tale Heart” isn’t mentioned once, and numerous other classics appear merely as a quick title check. Only the stories and poems penned out of extreme personal emotion, such as “Annabel Lee” and its high probability of being inspired by the death of Poe’s wife, are given closer scrutiny.

There’s a general assumption the reader is familiar with Poe’s works or, even if not, desire to learn more about the man than the content he left behind. In many ways, she unfurls his story more like a romance than traditional non-fiction. It’s an excellent strategy to take, especially for a figure who’d already been the subject of many biographies when this book was published in 1931.

Alexandra Bel-Robere – Winter Castle (1972)

December 27, 2024December 28, 2024 Justin Tate

With little hesitation, a young teacher accepts the mysterious invitation to summer in Norway as the hostess of an extravagant castle/hotel. Why not? It’ll be a working vacation—a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Besides, after the recent deaths of her mother and father, escaping the familiar haunts of South Carolina will be a relief.

Vinterborg, an isolated castle nestled among picturesque fjords, soon proves more demanding than mere summer employment, however. Before recovering from her long flight, Freya is confronted by a cast of suspicious characters who waste no time plotting against her. Her mother’s heirloom necklace is stolen within seconds and a brutal push down stone steps nearly kills her. What’s really going on in this creepy hotel anyway?

Burton Dickson – Snowjob (1970)

December 13, 2024December 28, 2024 Justin Tate

In honor of Netflix’s Hot Frosty, I dug deep into the archives to discover this 1970 paperback of frozen titillations. It’s not a tale of snow sculpture brought alive by Christmas magic. But, if you’re someone who wished Hot Frosty had gay orgies along with those Hallmark feel-good vibes, look no further than Burton Dickson’s novel Snowjob.

There is a snowman here too, of sorts. During a treacherous blizzard near a ski resort, Barry stumbles upon a naked ass buried in snow. Thinking it an attractive woman’s ass, he eagerly jumps into a rescue effort — and discovers he’s actually saving a man. A man with a stiff, frozen dick. Barry carries the unconscious, nude man to his cabin where he learns the poor fellow was caught drunk and naked in an avalanche. No doubt he would’ve been dead in a few hours.

Cole Fannin – Lucy and the Madcap Mystery (1963)

November 14, 2024November 14, 2024 Justin Tate

Too often we forget Lucille Ball’s other hit sitcom. From 1963-1968, The Lucy Show was must-watch TV, with an average viewership of around fifteen million households. That’s about the same, if not more, than I Love Lucy. Of course, fifteen million was more impressive back in the 1950s when fewer households owned a television set.

Still, by any standard, The Lucy Show was an instant success. And it didn’t take long for supplemental merch to appear, like this tie-in novel. The book is not based on any particular episode but places the show’s cast of zany characters in a brand-new adventure.

Anonymous – The Day of the Jack-O-Lantern (2012)

September 27, 2024September 27, 2024 Justin Tate

Since discovering “confession” stories from the 1950s I’ve become obsessed with magazines like True Story and True Confessions. Much to my delight, this anthology collects various Halloween-themed tales from the magazines. Unfortunately, the stories are mundane representations of a gloriously daring legacy that dates all the way back to 1919.

“Dracula is My Baby’s Daddy” is the only real zinger. It includes drunken costume sex in a coat closet, scaling a neighbor’s fence to retrieve panties before they go up for auction, and a twist that, while so obvious it’s not really a twist at all, is still cute.